Anime will always be more than just 'entertainment' to me. I came out as transgender in 2015, and anime laid the foundation for the introspection and self-acceptance that made it possible. Sakura Kinomoto was my childhood idol, as a 5-year old 'boy' who dreamt of becoming a magical girl. Riza Hawkeye was my teenage life goals, and Nitori Shuuichi helped me accept myself after years of suppression. Even now, two years after coming out, I still feel affirmed by Rui Ninomiya and the memes like these surrounding them. It reminds me that someone else gets it.
After watching Pop Culture Detective and Gigguk back-to-back, I found the words for why I love anime as a medium. Anime isn't afraid of emotional intimacy - it celebrates it. Rather than aiming for mass appeal, anime has evolved to target thousands of niche audiences. And in the digital era, it's easier than ever to find anime that resonates with you. It's easier to find anime that helps you through life. Anime has impacted my life more than any other medium. My transition has been mapped by perfect anime as milestones, and I doubt that I'll ever develop the same kind of love for film or literature. Lord of the Rings and Star Wars both entertained me through hard times, but they never spoke to me as personally as those milestone anime. And while Terry Pratchett has shaped my worldview ever since I read his City Watch series, none of his books have ever spoken to me as much as this moment from Wandering Son. I grew up alongside anime. To some small extent, I grew up because of anime. And I want to give something back in 2018. As much as I adore anime, I've never contributed to the online community until now. Anime had always been my private hobby - never a source of shame, but one that I'd share with people like I'd share a treasured book. It was all about watching Hyouka or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood with someone in person, then sharing our personal thoughts on the unfolding events. I've re-watched all of my favourite anime with my little siblings, and it's wonderful to see their tastes evolve and grow more specific in response, as they pin down what they enjoy about art.
But while I was at university, I stopped watching as much anime. My course was stressful and draining - the early stages of my transition (happening in tandem) were even more so. I was exhausted. Rather than spending less energy on my education or my friends, I began spending less on my private time. I felt too drained to actively watch anime, so I turned off my brain and instead watched Let's Plays on YouTube to unwind. Something that didn't require any thought. 2017 revitalised me, and inspired me to write. Your Name was the turning point for my exhaustion. I remember pulling overtime and clearing out my schedule, so I could just relax for two hours without feeling guilty. The movie was an emotional roller-coaster, and I was left feeling cathartically content in a way that I hadn't for months. That led into watching Season 2 of Attack on Titan weekly with my flatmates - it was the first time that I'd ever watched an anime as it aired, rather than binge-watching it afterwards. It gave me the energy to deal with my course, as well as my transition, and revitalised my love for anime.
Following a Pirates of the Caribbean rewatch with my siblings, I stumbled onto a beautiful analysis video, and fell in love with media analysis. It was an art form built around expressing love for art. I began scouring the internet, craving more reviewers like Just Write and Lessons from the Screenplay. And then I found Gigguk. As much fun as his Attack on Titan parody was, it was the tender way that he talked about anime that made me adore his videos. It inspired me to participate in the anime community, and share the same intimacy that had moved me so strongly. But I needed a topic. An anime that moved me enough to inspire that sort of content. And I only found it once I left university, and began to recover from that state of exhaustion. I found My Hero Academia. If Cardcaptor Sakura was the best anime from my childhood, then My Hero Academia will mostly likely remain the most beloved anime from my early adulthood. Izuku Midoriya is one of my favourite shonen protagonists to date, and I've never cried for a character as early or as earnestly as I did for Midoriya in Episode One and Two. His conviction and the barriers that he faced resonate with me deeply, and I'm amazed by how quickly My Hero Academia made me bond with a fictional character.
But despite that, Shoto Todoroki is unequivocally my favourite character from My Hero Academia. Within half a season, he develops from internalised self-hatred, to the relief that he craves, to self-doubt and introspection. Rather than being magically cured by the Power of Friendship, he takes time to process his feelings, and returns with the heroic conviction that his dysphoria had suppressed. Each change occurs smoothly, and is woven among some of the most beautiful, masterfully animated and perfectly orchestrated action scenes I've ever seen. The subtext may have biased my review slightly, but people seem to agree on the production quality. And Todoroki wasn't an outlier. My Hero Academia did the same for Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida, and even its analogue to Superman. It built a power fantasy around rebounding once you hit a brick wall, and becoming the best version of yourself rather than using others as templates. The link is full of manga spoilers, but I recently read an a My Hero Academia analysis called 'Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Tragedy.' It encapsulates why this show is so much more than a well-polished shonen tribute, and why I adore My Hero Academia. I won't review My Hero Academia any further than that. Not until Season 3 airs. I've read ahead in the manga, and re-watched this season too many times with that knowledge. My critiques would be biased by the content to come, and I couldn't express my untarnished first impression of the show. I want my blog posts to let me relive those first impressions. But that's perfectly fine, because there's so much else to review in 2018. After a seventeen year gap, the sequel to my childhood anime is airing on Sunday. Firstly, I am hyped beyond expression. Cardcaptor Sakura was one of my life milestones, and seeing Madhouse remade their show with modern animation quality - after the visual spectacle that was One-Punch Man - will be nostalgia incarnate. But secondly, I'm not sure how much I'll actually enjoy it. When I recently re-watched the start of Cardcaptors with my sister (with the butchered English dub), I found the pace far too slow for the mood I was in. The show was about quiet progression rather than life-changing moments.
But there's the crux - I was in the wrong mood. I won't watch the sequel each week and just churn out reviews to meet a quota. I'll wait until I'm in the mood for some pure, nostalgic fluff. Konohana Kitan entranced me on Christmas Eve, when I just wanted to sit back and unwind, and I hope that Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card will do the same. And it's not just Cardcaptor Sakura - so many good sequels are airing this year. Attack on Titan. One Punch Man. My Hero Academia. Even A Certain Magical Index - a hit-and-miss anime that charmed me with its power system and this one GIF from the Season 2 intro, which somehow makes me laugh without fail. As for non-sequels, I've heard great things about Violet Evergarden, but that's all I know about the original anime that's coming out this year. And I can't wait to find out more. 2017 was a great year to watch anime, but 2018 will be a perfect year to write about it. With all that in mind, here's my New Year's resolution. I'm going to publish weekly blog posts on anime this year, regardless of how short they might become to fit around my schedule. It's partly to keep my writing muscles in shape - I want a career that revolves around my writing, and that means building a writing routine that I can maintain, come rain or shine. But more than that, I want to connect with and inspire a few other anime fans - especially the ones that I already know. The blog posts won't be great at first. Many of them will be minimum viable products, after university ruthlessly punished my perfectionism. I learned that lesson the hard way. But I want to look back at my blog in 2019, read all fifty-two posts, and see how much I've grown since today. My personal time capsule. Because I've certainly grown since last year. To some small extent, I grew because of anime.
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AuthorHeya! I'm Ardent Dawn, a trans girl and casual weeb who's finally taken a stab at anime blogging. Check out my AniList profile if you want to chat! ^_^ ArchivesCategories |